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Cointest across the globe


wsgaskins

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Another hour another post. #2 since I've been gone all day.

 

I don't know if this true or not but I thought it was interesting.

 

I have been driving (legally) for over a decade.

 

One would think I would have noticed the little secret on my dash that was staring me right in the face the whole time.

 

I didn't and I bet you probably haven't either.

 

Quick question, what side of your car is your gas tank?

 

If you are anything like me, you probably can't remember right away.

 

My solution is to uncomfortably stick my head out the window, strain my neck and look.

 

If you don't do this in your own car you definitely have done it in a borrowed or rental car.

 

Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to share with you my little secret so you will no longer look like

 

Ace Ventura on your way to the gas station or put your neck at risk of uncomfort or injury.

 

If you look at your gas guage, you will see a small icon of a gas pump.

 

The handle of the gas pump will extend out on either the left or right side of the pump.

 

If your tank is on the left, the handle will be on the left.

 

If your tank is on the right, the handle will be on the right (see photo above).

 

It is that simple!

 

I don't know how you feel right now but when I found out this morning I felt cheated!

 

Why don't the dealers share such important information with car buyers?

 

I don't understand why this isn't in the drivers manual?

 

I don't get why any mechanic I have ever been too or know has even thought of mentioning this to me?

 

The only possible explanation can be that all these people probably don't even know!

 

Go out and share the worlds best kept auto secret with your friends as this is information is way too important to be kept secret.

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A Politically Correct Christmas Story

 

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...

How to live in a world that's politically correct?

His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".

"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

And labour conditions at the North Pole

were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

 

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,

Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.

And equal employment had made it quite clear

That Santa had better not use just reindeer.

So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid

Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

 

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;

The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.

And people had started to call for the cops

When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.

Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.

His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."

 

And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,

Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose

And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,

Demanding millions in over-due compensation.

So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,

Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,

 

Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,

Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a notion

That making a choice could cause so much commotion.

Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,

Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

 

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.

Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot.

Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.

Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys.

Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.

Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.

 

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.

Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.

And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,

Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.

For they raised the hackles of those psychological

Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

 

No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;

Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.

Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;

And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;

He just could not figure out what to do next.

 

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,

But you've got to be careful with that word today.

His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;

Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might

Give to all without angering the left or the right.

 

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,

Each group of people, every religion;

Every ethnicity, every hue,

Everyone, everywhere...even you.

So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...

May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.

 

Copyright; Author Unknown

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Message From Santa Claus

 

If it were in my powers,

I would bring peace and love,

To this world of ours,

But I don't have magic enough,

I can cross the sky,

and pass by the stars,

But I can't seem to stop,

Any of hatred's wars,

I see children on the street,

With no hope left,

in the eyes.

So many homeless people

with no where to sleep.

And my heart cries.

I can't give the things they need,

Oh But God I would try.

I'm only a fantasy,

that once took wings to fly,

Some are deceived,

by the gifts that money can buy,

But those who truly believe,

see the gift with the heart,

not with the eye,

I sometime stop and go to my knees,

and pause,

and I too always pray,

That we will find a end to wars,

and live in peace one day.

For all those who believe in me,

I will continue my cause,

Across the stars,

over the wars,

On Christmas Eve,

For the hearts that still believe,

In Santa Claus

 

©Judy Arline Puckett

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Santa's Interior Monologue

Boy, it's dark.

Sure is cold.

Housetop--whoa, boys!

Got the bag.

Suck it in.

Down the chimney.

There's the tree.

Gifts out of bag.

Stockings are here.

Stuff 'em.

Eat the cookies.

Drink the milk.

Wink.

Suck it in.

Up the chimney.

Ready, boys--away!

Sure is cold.

Boy, it's dark.

(Repeat a billion times.)

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Had this forum pointed out. We'll write a log to help keep track.

Writing verse is not our strength. But like all things we'll have a crack.

To win the prize would be a thrill. (Like getting toys from Santa's sack).

We'll run down soon. (Its skills we lack),

and also words, that rhyme with "...ack".

 

Merry Chritsmas all

rchdlyn

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