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The "It's My Birthday" Cointest


keewee

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As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what

happened.

 

The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I

Looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree,

so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..."

 

The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mama ... I don’t know how to

tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty

miles is your air freshener."

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A blonde is on a plane sleeping when the guy next to her says, "Let's play a

game." She looks at him and tells him the she doesn't want to and she just wants

to sleep, but he keeps bugging her until she agrees.

 

He tells her that he will ask her a question and if she

Can’t answer, she owes him $5.00, then she asks him a

Question and if he can't answer, he owes her $50.00. So he asks, "Who was the

last person to sign the Declaration of independence?"

 

She quietly hands over a $5 bill. She asks, "What goes up a Hill with 4 legs

and down with 5? He has no idea so he gives Up and gives her $50.

 

The blonde turns back around and goes back to sleep.

 

Not 2 seconds later, he wakes her back up and asks, "What was the answer?"

 

Quietly, she reaches into her purse and gives the guy a

$5.00 bill.

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The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he'd like a bottle of Chanel No. 5 for his wife's birthday.

 

"A little surprise, eh?" smiled the clerk.

 

"You bet," answered the customer. "She's expecting a cruise."

------------------------------

 

A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again."

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go.

She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Into McDonald's they went, where she was given a Double Big Mac with extra fries and a strawberry shake. Then off to a movie theater, more burgers, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"

One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually I meant dress size."

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Just in case I still have a shot at winning something, here's some good Label Instructions:

 

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

 

On a Sears's hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

 

On a bag of Fritos! You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

 

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

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There once was a cacher named Keewee,

Whose birthday was yesterday, lovely

He wanted a cake,

But his friends could not bake,

So his candles just sat in a box lonely.

 

Famous birthdays

Robert De Niro (actor)

Sean Penn (actor)

Maureen O'Hara (actress)

Mae West (actress

 

Happy now day after your birthday!

Edited by SCYoli
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Well, a happy birthday also from me; you should be as happy as i was 4 days ago (because i had mine then).

 

Is it true you people "down under" walk at the ceilings of your rooms or you would fall of the earth? :)

 

LOL - um, no - not true. I am well grounded :o

 

 

I´ve got a windows media file (2,74 MB) that is a "must see".

Unfortunately I don´t know how to upload it here, don´t even know if it´s possible.

Anyway, it´s from a bed store, selling a waterbed and it´s really funny to see when people are trying to lie down, as it´s a fake waterbed.

 

Keewee if you are interested to see this one, send me your e-mail

and that goes for anyone else interested to see this one.

 

It will for sure make you laugh LOL

 

Edit: I found it on youtube "Fake waterbed", check it out LOL

http://youtube.com/results?search_query=waterbed

 

OK - that made me laugh... heaps... even if I couldn't understand what was said.

 

Congrats Solan109 - you've won yourselves a keewee 2007 GeoTag. Send me your details please.

 

Oh, and 501 Gang - for your efforts you get a Kiwi Fruit GeoJellie, so send me your details too!

 

And that only leaves the big one - the keewee sigitem... and that goes to... drum roll please...

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Ok, here's a true story.

 

I'm an American in Sweden married to a Swede and we have kids here.

 

Since there are so many different nationalities here a lot of kids are raised bilingual.

 

We have friends whos' twins are TRI-lingual - Swedish, Bulgarian and English and they are only 4 years old!

 

In Bulgarian to make something plural you add an "i" to it.

 

To make a long story short, Anders' little boy came running into the living room one night shouting... "pappa, pappa, there's a "kiw" in the refrigerator and I want it, can I have it?"

 

Anders, of course, was totally perplexed, as he couldn't figure out what the heck a "kiw" was in any of the three languages that they speak in the house, so he went to look.

 

The little guy wanted a kiwi! He had been thinking in Bulgarian and that the "i" in kiwi made it plural, so to him it was only natural to say he wanted a "kiw" since there was only one and he wanted only one!

 

And that, oh honored birthday one, is my cute kid, true story of the day! Prolly not that funny, but given your nickname, I thought it was relevant :o

 

Happy happy!

 

CONGRATULATIONS mousekakat - I loved your story so you have yourselves a handmade keewee sigitem heading in your direction. Please send me your details. Thanks.

 

keewee_front_sml.JPG

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Well that's a total of 7 items I've given away to celebrate my birthday (which was now yesterday :)) - which is quite enough items for 1 thread! I'm sorry for the slow finishing up on this, but after I went to bed last night (24 hours ago) I've only just got back to the thread as I've been to a cousins wedding today. And very nice it was too.

 

Thank you to everyone who participated and 'played the game', I hope you all had as much fun with this as I did. Congratulations to all the winners; to everyone else - maybe next time. I'm sorry that I can't give you all something as a prize, but I am hoping that you all at least took one thing away from this thread - a smile :o

 

To recap - the winners were:

deafhunt - 2-tone Kiwi Fruit GeoJellie

Arthur & Trillian - glitter Kiwi Fruit GeoJellie

C A Royal Flush - keewee 2007 GeoTag

Ble86 - Kiwi Fruit GeoJellie

Solan109 - keewee 2007 GeoTag

501 Gang - Kiwi Fruit GeoJellie

mousekakat - hand made keewee sigitem

 

Cheers,

Craig (keewee)

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To recap - the winners were:

deafhunt - 2-tone Kiwi Fruit GeoJellie

Arthur & Trillian - glitter Kiwi Fruit GeoJellie

C A Royal Flush - keewee 2007 GeoTag

Ble86 - Kiwi Fruit GeoJellie

Solan109 - keewee 2007 GeoTag

501 Gang - Kiwi Fruit GeoJellie

mousekakat - hand made keewee sigitem

 

Cheers,

Craig (keewee)

 

Thanks Keewee!

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Prizes were all posted over 2 weeks ago, and are now starting to filter into peoples hands. If yours has not arrived, it should not be far away. You should have it within about the next week. The US based ones have just been put into the US Postal System by the US based agent I use.

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Prizes were all posted over 2 weeks ago, and are now starting to filter into peoples hands. If yours has not arrived, it should not be far away. You should have it within about the next week. The US based ones have just been put into the US Postal System by the US based agent I use.

A secret agent? :blink:;)

 

Oh, a very secret agent! ;)

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Thanks keewee again for the cointest!

 

I can't wait to get my package! :lol:

 

In your case it is packages! :lol:

 

The trade should follow the prize coin could by about a week. I received yours yesterday - many thanks Michael!! It's a very nice coin!!! :lol:

 

Thanks for the compliment!

 

I got your Geo-Jellie today! Very nice. :P

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Sorry I missed your birthday, but Happy Belated Birthday! That was really nice of you to hand out those coins. More people should think of reasons to do the same thing.

 

THANKS!! There are heaps of coins given away, but not by many people. It just feels good to spread the love.

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