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Clan X-Man

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Went caching with niece and nephew in tow today. Went a little to far to park at a cache and got stuck. Sat for two hours with no cell phone reception and alot of people passing by and not even asking if they could help.

You ever realize how many people will just let you sit there and not even ask if you need help? Try it some time.

 

Anyway, this guy stops by offers to help, goes home gets his truck and pulls me out. Turns out we are in the same business which was cool. I know he will probably never see this but THANKS!

 

There are some really good people out there.

 

X

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a little over a week ago NBC did a story on what happened to common courtesy it went into basis on how americans are now more woried about themselves and how they think they dont have the time just to open the door for the ladies or help someone whos having car trouble but then you have this one person who sticks out from the rest and decides they can spare a minute about a year ago here an old woman had a flat tire and didnt know how to fix it well this was on the interstate and a young man stopped to help her fix it turns out while fixing the tire he got hit by an oncoming vehicle sad story but thats common courtesy

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One time I went caching in a blizzard, and my cachemobile slid off the road into a ditch in the middle of nowhere as I approached the state's third oldest cache from the wrong direction. At the time I did not own a cellphone. So, I marched to the nearest farmhouse and asked if I could borrow his phone to call AAA for a tow truck. The farmer said he needed to go out to milk the cows anyhow, so he got all bundled up and pulled me out of the ditch with his tractor. Not a scratch on the car.

 

He wouldn't take any money for helping me, not even what I would have paid to AAA. "The cows are happy you showed up. I was putting off going out to mind them on account of it bein' so cold and snowy."

 

That was the reaction in rural Pennsylvania. I wonder what would have happened to me if the ditch was in suburbia.

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A guy I work with, his father was killed 2 winters ago when he stopped on an Interstate to help out a lady with a flat tire, and somebody flew past and ran him down. Well anyway, that aside, I'll still stop to help someone out. Last winter my wife and I were out 4x4'ing and geocaching in the snow, we came across some deer hunters who had their 4x4 bogged down in a snowy ditch, they were miles and miles from the middle of nowhere. I pulled out my chain and we yanked them from the ditch, and they promised not to shoot at us while we looked for the cache :mad: . You should always try to help someone out, it's what makes America strong.

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It's a pretty sad time that we live in. I bet that many of the folks that passed thought that you already had help on the way and why bother to stop - heavens forbid they would be late getting somewhere important or just that clueless to even consider there was any trouble.

 

Personally I have been in some situations that you have described, unfortunately I will not expect anyone to help - it's just human nature, they are afraid to get involved and will at times just look the other way. Now this is not always the case, just my sarcastic view.

 

Last summer my son and I had just finished a very challenging hike on a 90+-summer day, as we were walking out of the woods. I see an older lady and three young girls at the end of the trail. The older lady looked very confused and the young girls appeared to be very concerned about something. We walk towards them and they pounce on us - they had gotten lost and had been wandering through the trails for about 3 hours. Needless to say I gave them some water and crammed them all into the mini urban assault vehicle and got them back to their car which was on the other side of the park about 3 miles away.

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We had a blowout on a 4 lane highway (no divider in the middle, country highway) a couple of years ago. Hubby pulled over, and started getting out the equipment to change it. Shortly after he stopped, a LE vehicle (sheriff or state trooper, I don't remember which) turned around, pulled up behind us with top lights going, and changed the tire for him!

 

Having the flashing lights behind us was nice enough, to keep some idiot from plowing into us, but the officers also changing the tire was an extra bonus.

 

Thanks, LE! You do more than your share to keep people safe.

 

Malia

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I believe the death of common courtesy was brought about by civil litigation and media hype. Between folks suing the stranger who helped them, to the exagerations of our news reporters every time a crime is committed, many folks are scared to help. Personally, I can't leave someone sitting by the side of the road. It's just not in me.

 

Hubby was brought up in a small town where everyone helped each other. When we lived in Iowa, it was a common courtesy.

 

When we moved to Texas, that changed. He tried to help a woman stuck in an intersection... he was going to tow her across to safety. He hopped out of his pickup, went to hers to explain how he could help, and she rolled up her window and motioned to him to GO AWAY! He's not that scary, really.

 

We've been helped out several different times... twice, by the same person! There are some nice people out there still... just harder to find.

 

I stopped to help a woman change a tire in the rain... (me, the female of this team) who drives by? About 6 other cars.. with guys inside!

 

Malia

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We had a blowout on a 4 lane highway (no divider in the middle, country highway) a couple of years ago. Hubby pulled over, and started getting out the equipment to change it. Shortly after he stopped, a LE vehicle (sheriff or state trooper, I don't remember which) turned around, pulled up behind us with top lights going, and changed the tire for him!

 

Having the flashing lights behind us was nice enough, to keep some idiot from plowing into us, but the officers also changing the tire was an extra bonus.

 

Thanks, LE! You do more than your share to keep people safe.

 

Malia

 

In some states/areas, I believe the state police and/or sheriff are * REQUIRED * to help if they pass by a car in distress unless there is an extreme emergency nearby. Here in extreme lower NY State, I was once stuck with a flat tire on one of the local parkways (special limited-access roads that do not allow large trucks or buses). My motor club plan said that they were not allowed to come help (the lug nuts were unusually tight and I couldn't get them off to put on my spare), but that the parkway has a service that will come by shortly and do it for free (I have seen them on these roads, they are called HELP (acronym for Highway Emergency something Patrol)).

 

To my surprise a state Trooper came by about 10 minutes later. He told me that if there's no nearby HELP truck, the service is required to call the state police and have them come within an hour.

 

I once had my car die on another one of these parkways late at night (turned out to be alternator trouble; after a jump start car would go for 30 minutes and die), and again within about 45 minutes a trooper came by to get me the "juice" I needed to get home.

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A couple of years ago I was on my way to take a industry certification test. As I left my neighborhood, I was driving down one of the main streets and noticed a pair of young girls, 11 or 12 I guess... one of them laying face first on the pavement. This was June, and it was 10AM, which means that the pavement was already hot enough to cook with. I kept my eye on her and noticed that she was shaking. I also noticed that the cars on that side of the street weren't stopping to help. I did a quick u-turn and went over to see if they needed help. Thankfully my worst fears didn't come true, and she was not having a seizure. Turns out her bike got caught in the road construction and she simply flipped over on her bike. She was bleeding from her nose and the I'm pretty sure she had some burns from the pavement. I asked if they needed help and they asked if I could take them back home. I loaded both of their bikes into the back of my truck at drove them back to their house.

 

I was late for my test, and for the first half of it, I could only think of the girl laying on the pavement... imagining it was one of my little sisters that no one was stopping to help.

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Times have changed.

As many have stated, a lot of people are scared to stop, but I think another factor in why "rescues" like the OP's are less frequent (assuming you accept the premise) is that, with the ubiquitous cell phone, people just assume that the person has called for help and is waiting for them to arrive. Also, many will call in (911) and not stop.

 

I work with a lot of PSAPs (public safety answering points) and the dispatchers tell me that if they only get ONE call on a motorist assist and ESPECIALLY on an accident, they consider it suspicious that it might be a bad call. Usually they get so many calls that the dispatcher only has time to say "is this the accident at XXXXXX?" "OK we're on the way" -*click* then they answer the next call... Gets kinda hectic in there.

 

Since the OP stated "no cellphone coverage", it might be the best thing a person could do to wait till they get into cell service and call in for the motorist- especially if they don't happen to own the equipment needed to help. Also, they might have a different cell provider that DOES have coverage.

 

Stopping to provide help onesself is nice, but not necessary to really help the stranded person.

 

I will usually at least roll down the window and ask if they have help on the way, but even that puts you at risk.

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Yeah, I'm big and scary (6'3", 300#), had a similar situation happen to me about the woman rolling up the window til she realized I was there to help with her flat. I told her, stay in your car, just pop the trunk and I'll change your tire for you, she did. I carry a trunk of aid stuff to help people out in my car, I REALLY like helping people. I add things to the box as I find a situation that calls for a new thing (Haven't had to add in quite a while). Yes common courtesy is no longer common, but there are those of us that still do what we can. I even helped a pair of illegal aliens passing through my area to change a tire. They spoke no english and didnt want law enforcement anywhere around, so we changed their tire and they were on their way to another grove to pick fruit. Do what you can while you can, because you may require the help one day, better to have karma working for you on that day.

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I see no one has mentioned why I don't stop when I see someone on the side of the road, and I'm alone:

In the '80's, in So. California (where I am originally from), there was a rash of men or groups of men who would pose as broke-down or disabled motorists... some even acting as though they were in phyiscal distress. This would normally happen on less-travelled roads, but occasionally it happened on busy highways. When a female would pull over to assist, she was often raped, molested and on occasion, kidnapped and/or murdered. If a man pulled over to help the 'stranded' motorist would say he had the problem handled and set up again waiting for a victim. Local CHP posted bulletins in newspapers warning women not to help stranded motorists, but instead to drive to the nearest phone booth (pre-cellphone days) and call it in. This was about the same time those cardboard car shades began popping up with "Needs Help - Call 911" on one side.

I was raised to always help a stranded motorist, so this was a tough thing for me. When I moved to Northern California, people on the side of the road could easily be killed if stranded too long, so I 'broke' that training. We'll see what happens now that we live in Maine where people break down in snowy, blizzardy conditions...

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I was pleasantly surprised this summer with car trouble. My car died in a turning lane (bad alternator = drained battery), so I called the cops (traffic hazard) who in turn called for a tow. It took about 15 minutes for the police to come, but in that time, about 5 cars stopped (a couple coming from the opposite direction) and asked if I needed help! And I live in supposedly unfriendly New England!

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I don't think it's so much a regional thing as it is a city-folk / country-folk thing.

 

Country-raised folk have never let me down, no matter where in the nation I encounter them.

 

City-raised folk have a totally different attitude and lifestyle and, in my experience, are far more removed from these types of social interactions.

 

I have helped and been helped all over this country many times (fortunately I have been able to help more often than needing help, but it's gone both ways often!).

 

One of the things that I believe affects the stop / don't stop decision today is the assumption that most everyone has a cell phone today and can call for help.

 

I will always stop for women, teenage kids and the elderly, but less often for middle-aged men. Sexist I suppose but I do believe most men can fend for themselves! Still, if we're away from a city or if the guy is actively signaling for help I will stop.

 

I do carry a pistol in my car that's hidden between my seat and door but close at hand, and that, perhaps foolishly, gives me the confidance to get involved in situations that I otherwise might avoid. I am more willing to pick up hitch-hikers for that reason as well. If someone wants my car that bad they can have it, but I believe that I could stop someone from killing me.

 

I really liked and try to live by the concept from the movie Pay It Forward, and am a firm believer in both You Get What You Give and What Goes Around Comes Around!

 

I can't tell you how many times my life has been touched by the kindness and generosity of total strangers with nothing to gain from their actions.

 

I went to a TN event a few weeks ago, got my camp set up and went to town for some supplies. Did my shopping and got to the register, she rang up my $65. worth of goods and... no debit card! My son had it, and he's a half-hour away back at camp. I asked the cashier to set the stuff aside, told her I would be back in an hour to get it, and left. I was outside the door when the cashier caught up, carrying my bags, and said "Here, it's taken care of!". She told me the woman in line behind me had paid for it! I went back in and told the woman that I just needed to go get my card, that she didn't need to do that, and she said "We should all help each other - just consider it a gift from God". I asked for her address so I could mail the money to her and she said again, "No, just consider it a gift from God and have a great day!"

 

Yes, there are still FAR more good people around than otherwise!

 

Interestingly, one of the thinngs that I have discovered and love about geocaching is that it overwhelmingly draws good people! I have rarely met a geocacher I didn't care for, and am absolutely confidant that I can show up at an event or geocacher campout and be immmediately accepted and have new friends before I leave!

 

Ed

Edited by TheAlabamaRambler
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I'm reminded of the teenage daughter of one of my former employees. She went missing one evening. Her car was later found broken down on the side of the road. She has never been found.

 

What I tell my wife is that if her car breaks down she is to lock the doors and call me. She is not to accept help from strangers.

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Caution is good, but when does it become paranoia?

 

At what point does fear take the serenity out of life?

 

We can all quote bad stuff that happens, heck, the media shows nothing else, all day every day, but how many more good things happen that never get quoted or in the press?

 

I don't have any statistics, just half a century of very active life, but I believe the percentage of good people and good actions vastly outweighs the bad.

 

I refuse to live scared.

 

I assume the best of people and am rarely dissappointed.

 

I do agree that a woman, unfortunately, has to be much more careful. I hate that about my fellow man.

 

My wife and daughter only drive here locally so they have cell phone coverage, our police are friendly and helpful for the most part, and the $50/year I spend on AAA Plus Roadside Assistance is more than worth it!

 

Still, I couldn't travel, hunt, fish, geocache and so on and be unavailable as often as I do if I wasn't confidant that if they need help they will get it.

 

Ed

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I see no one has mentioned why I don't stop when I see someone on the side of the road, and I'm alone:

I mentioned it:

media hype

Media hype does not mean they invent a problem, it just means they blow it out of proportion, creating panic and paranoia. California is as bad at this as my home state of Florida. When every other story on the news is about women getting raped while helping "stranded" motorists, it's hard to discern that of the hundreds of thousands of women who helped folks, four got raped. Four women getting raped is exactly four too many, and I can't minimize their suffering even for a second, but for the media to turn it into a fear circus was irresponsible.

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Granted attacks are rare, but a person has to justify their actions (or lack thereof) in their own mind, based on their personal limitations as well as their perception of the events as they unfold. Yes there is media hype. Yes it borders on paranoia. But each person has to know his/her limitations and make the decision. It is far too easy to sit behind a keyboard (or a jury bench) and second guess the situation- and it does the person no good at all if they were one of the unfortunate ones who got attacked whilst doing a good deed or as a sitting duck hoping someone would help.

 

An earlier post mentioned carrying a gun and therefore being more willing to get into possibly dangerous situations. I agree with him that that is "foolish". My #2 rule of "packing" (right after "don't shoot yourself") is "don't do anything you wouldn't do if you weren't packing".

 

Personal safety is a complicated issue. To err on the side of caution is to leave the sceene and call it in. There is no shame in that.

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I used to hang out with a friend* who would get his car stuck anywhere and everywhere.

 

One day he was turning around on a gravel road and got two wheels over the edge. Pulling forward or backwards would just slide him further into the ditch. While he stood there scratching his head (and I stood there with my arms crossed) this hot air balloon descends from the sky and lands in the field right next to us. Of course all the chasers show up and give us a little push out. A rescue from heaven. :cry:

 

 

*he’s still a friend, we just don’t hang out that much anymore.

Edited by BlueDeuce
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...Interestingly, one of the thinngs that I have discovered and love about geocaching is that it overwhelmingly draws good people! I have rarely met a geocacher I didn't care for, and am absolutely confidant that I can show up at an event or geocacher campout and be immmediately accepted and have new friends before I leave! Ed
I LOVE THAT!!!

 

We too have noticed a certain immediate friendliness that geocachers tend to have in common. I particularly enjoy those unexpected moments when you meet a fellow cacher out on the trail, it often feels like meeting a kindred spirit. We hosted a small CITO event last year and every attendee, without exception, was someone I would be happy to call a friend!

 

:cry:

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I remember the day we (my husband and I) brought our daughter home from the hospital. We had just got home when we forgot something at the hospital and had to go back. We left our daughter with my mother-in-law and headed out. We had to take my mother-in-law's car, b/c ours had started to act up on the way home the first time. Well, we were in rush hour traffic heading back on the highway, when smoke/steam starts pouring out the front end! I truly thought the car was going to explode!!! Anyway, My husband and I are standing on the side of the road, I am balling, b/c all I want is to be home with our new baby and no one was stopping. It was at least 3-5 minutes and 50-100+ cars later before someone stopped. The lady said that she nevers stops for people on the side of the road, but she saw my crying and felt bad. Now I feel stupid for crying, but I was a emotional wreck then! Oh and to make matters worse, our cell phone had no reception, so it wasn't like we could call anyone anyway. Well, that's my story. Oh, and we stopped to help someone else that month, b/c we were so happy that that lady helped us!

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Granted attacks are rare, but a person has to justify their actions (or lack thereof) in their own mind, based on their personal limitations as well as their perception of the events as they unfold. Yes there is media hype. Yes it borders on paranoia. But each person has to know his/her limitations and make the decision. It is far too easy to sit behind a keyboard (or a jury bench) and second guess the situation- and it does the person no good at all if they were one of the unfortunate ones who got attacked whilst doing a good deed or as a sitting duck hoping someone would help.

 

An earlier post mentioned carrying a gun and therefore being more willing to get into possibly dangerous situations. I agree with him that that is "foolish". My #2 rule of "packing" (right after "don't shoot yourself") is "don't do anything you wouldn't do if you weren't packing".

 

Personal safety is a complicated issue. To err on the side of caution is to leave the sceene and call it in. There is no shame in that.

I disagree with the basic logic of your argument, but that's fodder for another thread...

Edited by sbell111
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In my pre-GC days, back when I was a grad student, I was often parked on the side of a small state or county road, collecting "weeds" for my research. One time, in my car, a man approached and reached in to pet my dog. My dog was normally friendly, but he wasn't so much with this guy... Womans intuition kicked in, and I drove away, but the things that the guy said and the way he acted... I went back and collected another day.

 

Another time, again collecting weeds, I was in the ditch in tall grass. My dog was short, so couldn't be seen from the road due to the tall grass. A guy in a truck flipped a U to park behind me, got out and asked if I needed help. A nice gesture, but again, intuition kicked in... he kept getting closer, even after I said I was fine, until he saw my dog. My dog was black with big white teeth and .... After he saw Carbon, the guy turned around a left. If he had had any good intentions, he would have called the police to make sure that I was OK... but he didn't.

 

That's not to say that everyone who stops is bad, but personally, as a lady who often finds herself alone on the road, I really do prefer that folks call the cops and not put me in the position of having to decide if I can trust you or not. Fortunatly, with my dog, I was always OK but... And, for that reason, unless I know there was an accident or it really looks like there is immediate need for help, I will always call the police rather than stopping myself.

 

This from a wheat fed country kid...

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Stopped to look for a cache today with my three daughters ( 10, 7 and 5). No real parking available so I just parked my van on the soft shoulder of the road. The atv trail we were going to hike into was about 50 feet in front of us but we hadn't gotten fifteen feet away from the van before a couple stopped to ask if we needed help <_< . I told them we were just going for a hike but thanked them so much for taking the time to stop, back up and make sure we were fine. I agree that we have to be careful about who we accept help from, but having three daughters if I didn't believe that the majority of people still care about the welfare of their fellow man (or woman) I wouldn't sleep at night.

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