+Snoogans Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Snoogans profile cracks me up! Sounds like it was written with Prozac and Jack Daniels! LOL! Actually, it was Sauza Hornitos, over exposure, and a little bit of altitude sickness. If I had enough space I'd add these to my profile: (sadly I'm at my limit) 39 Male Early Adopter (Got my first GPSr in 1995. I buy DVDs all the time, but I forget to watch them.) Pisces Never been married and no kids that I know of, (I’m holding out for a rich woman who is too proud to have her husband work.) but I have the best darned girlfriend in the world, SalmonGirlHooked aka The Snoogstress. I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer. On a good day, I only score in the high 130’s on I.Q. tests. I moo at horses just to see the shocked expression on their faces. I have been playing Poker since the mid-eighty’s. That’s wayyyy before it became fashionable. I’m not musical, but I do own an electric guitar. I can ONLY play the first part of “Smoke on the Water.” I’m sure I have vast undiscovered artistic talents, but I’m a bit of an underachiever. Did I mention that I was holding out for a rich woman who is too proud to have her husband work? I spend at least a week alone in the Sierra Backcountry every year. So, I guess that means I like the outdoors. I never had much use for computers except for doing paperwork and Geocaching. I have NEVER downloaded music, or porn, from the internet. I played D&D as a teenager for the same reasons that other teenagers smoke; peer pressure. I liked the Indiana Jones Trilogy (OK, the second one really sucked.) I bought them all on DVD, but I still haven’t taken the time to watch them. I love dogs, I have a deer head Chihuahua named Cujo. My friend’s and family’s dogs go outta their minds with joy when they hear my car drive up. I’m mostly indifferent to cats, but kittens are fun for about 10 minutes. I never really ate paste, but I did try it once when I was in the first grade. I read allot of fiction. Sci-Fi is a favorite. I actually try to write Sci-Fi and Horror, but I never have really finished anything to my satisfaction. I never rode the short bus to school. I NEVER believed in Santa Claus. I don’t drink coffee or beer. Krispy Kreme is just another donut to me. I haven’t picked a sweet watermelon in over 4 years! I like them French fried potaters. I drive a red, 1998 Volkswagen Jetta and a 2005 Xterra. I haven’t cut my back yard in over 2 years. (Antonio does that for $25 twice a month.) I almost never shop at Wal-Mart. I sometimes wonder what napalm really smells like in the morning. Not counting my Mom, I have never helped an old lady cross the street. True story: I once broke my right femur trying to fly. I make way too much money for someone without a degree. I baby-sit adults for a living and if they're really good I let them play with guns. I never met David Bowie, Mick Jagger, or Geraldo Rivera. I have seen a blue whale close up. I have been mistaken for a Phd. twice. (Once by a nerd from NASA and another time by a really cute marine biologist.) Fact: More than a dozen people have told me that I would be one of their lifelines if they made it onto Millionaire. My father really was a rocket scientist at the time I was born. I actually “Get” Andy Kaufman’s humor. I would NEVER pay what they are asking for tickets to see The Blue Men. I own EVERY album by Alan Parson’s Project. I once paid over $200 for a rock. I cry like a wee girl at the end of Bicentennial Man. Fact: I can totally whup ANYONE at Halo. I think the theory of an Ekpyrotic Universe makes allot more sense than the traditional Big Bang models. I can’t decide which of Dali’s works that I like best. I believe that Plastination is really an art form. I don’t care if someone ends a sentence with a preposition. I've never been bitten by a spider. (knock wood) I mow my neighbor's yard because he can't. I have a Yamaha V-Max, but I haven't ridden it in almost 8 years because I think it secretly wants to kill me. I won't sell it because I love it. My highest score at Sporting Clays is 92, but I only average 75. I never got an email from Mitsuko. I have only ridden a Vespa scooter once. The first thing I do when I get to work is check my internet email. I aspire to out-weird Oregone. I never say "Cheese" when I get my picture taken. I've only had one cavity in the last 20 years. I almost never listen to sea shells. I can say Cinnamon, Aluminum, Linoleum, five times fast. I constructed a Psychomantium in my guest bathroom, but nobody from “The Other Side” has bothered to say, “Hi.” I’m 6 feet tall. I love fried squid. I pulled skeet for Billy Gibbons (ZZ Top/Got my Eliminator album signed too.) among other notables, when I was a kid. All my “Exes” really do live in Texas. I hate to valet park my own car. I can say dirty words in more than 6 languages. In the town where I was born, lived a man who sailed the sea. Of THAT I’m sure. I’m pretty sure that if I bought a round bed, people would never be able to ask if I got up on the wrong side. Whenever I hear, “I’ll have 4 fried chickens, 2 slices of dry white toast, and a Coke,” I can only “Think” about one thing. I bought a mountain bike in 1989 and I rode it like, twice. I’m Agnostic, and I wish to God people would stop thinking that makes me an Atheist. I misplace my car keys all freakin’ the time at home, but never at work. I really did buy a book on “How to stop Procrastinating,” but I put off reading it. I have to wear a uniform unless I’m teaching a class. I have ALL of Stephen King’s novels in hardback. (Except the one’s that never had a hardback edition.) True Story: I check every Stephen King hardback, in a used bookstore, for red page numbers. I haven’t found one yet. Darn. I won’t eat eggplant either. I never met a Geocacher that I didn’t like. I have read “The Clan of the Cave Bear,” at least seven times. I actually saw Wang Chun & Men Without Hats in concert. YES, of course I did the “Safety Dance.” It didn't seem so gay then. I HAVE to use the 10% off coupons that Best Buy sends me in the mail. I secretly think they coat the paper with a chemical that makes me crave new DVD’s. I never wanted a pony. I’m on the national “DO NOT CALL LIST” for telemarketers. I won $87 bucks on the Texas lottery (4 numbers) in January 2004, and I can’t find the freakin ticket!!! I can’t retire yet, but I’m vested at 9% dollar for dollar. I know the Latin names of all my favorite Cephalopods. I know that steamundus is not really veriovundus, but I’m not really sure what it is. I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. If you poke me with a pin, I'll bleed, but most likely so will you. I'm a concealed handgun instructor, but I almost NEVER carry a gun. Is that wrong? My Mom is 81 and I'm 38. All my brothers and sisters are at LEAST 10 years older than me. Heck, I have a nephew that is a year older than me. I think I may have been an accident...... I didn't vote in the last election. I couldn't bring myself to choose between an idiot and a liar. Eh, six of one.... I planned to complain either way. I haven't been to the Zoo in like, 8 years. I really hate getting "ice cream cone" headaches. I can speak, read, and write a little Arabic. (not fluently) I'm pretty indifferent to reality TV, but I love the Osbournes. If I had multiple personalities, they would probably inhabit the town of Cicely, Alaska. I have hidden like a half dozen new caches, but I'm not motivated to post them for some reason. Conium Masculatum is poison ya know! If anyone has an old NES copy of Black Bass, try this code to catch a MONSTER bass: P2AAJI2TGGNQY1VN I keep hoping that the next time I drink tequila, the brain cell that code is stored on will get fried. Strangely, I worry about burning the one with my phone number on it. I got 100% in coding on the ASVAB. They made me take that section again and I got 100%. I have never seen Morgan Fairchild naked. I bought my first car at the age of 12. A 1961 Olds F85. I bought it for my brother for $200. He needed a car. Last year, I had a face to face encounter with a 600+ lb. bear. (not my first) He just walked away. My favorite color is red. MY MANTRA: Some day my Ferrari will come. (Please God let me have all of my teeth when it does.) I have always been suspicious of Dr. Quest and Race Bannon's relationship. Snooglets: Snooganannanomanymity: (Snoogan-anna-noma-nymity, Noun) A geocacher who has: A) never met Snoogans B ) never been in ANY geocaching forum C) Can not trace a connection to Snoogans within seven degrees of separation through caches, geocachers, and travel bugs. See also: The Seven Degrees of Snoogans and The One Degree of Separation Project D) never popped up on Snoogans' radar A geocacher who meets these four criteria has attained Snooganannanomanymity which is nearly impossible. (For instance: If you’re reading this definition, total Snooganannanomanymity is beyond your reach.) Otherwise, they may ONLY have partial Snooganannanomanymity. It is believed by Snooganistic Scholars that total Snooganannanomanymity is unattainable to the majority of geocachers world wide and most actually consider it a myth. Scholars are currently researching the origins of the term for the Wikipedia. Snooganesque/Snooganistic/Snooganism: Something that Snoogans might say, or do, or like. Something that reminds you of Snoogans. Snooganization: The process by which one is indoctrinated into the order of the Snoogys. The Snoogys: The devout followers of Snoogans who are led by Webfoot and secretly controlled by Mystery Woman. Snoogys sell all their worldly possessions and deposit the money and all future earnings in Snoogans' offshore bank accounts. A Snoogy's daily mantra is, "What would Snoogans do?" (W.W.S.D.) It is suspected by some that they trade poorly (on purpose) at caches and sell the ill-gotten items for profit to funnel to their master. Thus, solving the degredation of cache contents dilemma. These accusations are unfounded. The Snoogalicious: Their identities are secret, but it is known that they are the upper order of Snoogy sect. Their mission and rituals are shrouded in mystery. The Snoogativity: The manger where Snoogans was born. A site in Santa Maria, California held sacred by the Snoogys and destination of their annual pilgrimage. A Snoogy must visit the site at least once in their lifetime. (Soon to be a virtual cache. ) The Snoogstress: The position every female Snoogy hopes to eventually attain. Snooganized: A) A park, or other acceptable geocaching area that has one or more Snoogans caches B ) a cache that has been logged by Snoogans. C) Any travel bug logged by Snoogans, or currently in his possession. Snoogandipity: Actually sighting Snoogans while engaged in geocaching activities, or otherwise out in public. (Also, soon to be the title of a moving cache on another site, and an upcoming GC.com event.) Snooganopoly: A) A thread, or forum where Snoogans is the top poster. B ) A Snoogans cache, or caches, with no other non-Snoogans caches within a 1 mile radius. Snoogularity: What would be left if Snoogans collapsed in upon himself, at the quantum level, to a single point in space. Snoognambulism: The motor process that allows Snoogans to drive home and get in bed after 12 hours on the Midnight shift with less than 5 hours of previous sleep. Snooganapnia: Only The Snoogstress and people who have camped out with Snoogans can truly KNOW the meaning of this term. Snoogyrita: An alcoholic drink consisting of: 3 Parts Sauza Hornitos Tequila 1 1/2 Parts Midori Melon Liqueur 5 Parts Margarita Mix 1 Table spoon of orange juice concentrate per quart. (That's the secret.) (Optional 1 part Gran Marnier or Cointreau. No crappy Triple Sec.) Best served frozen. Soylent Green: A) Another patented Snoogans beverage consisting of: 2 Parts Sauza Hornitos Tequila 1 Part Midori Melon Liqueur 3 Parts O.J. (medium pulp) Best served over cocktail ice. B ) Snoogans' eviler twin. Snoogulation: Maybe not. This IS a family site. Snoogulistics: The study of Snooglets. Snooganicity: The sudden realization that you are thinking like Snoogans. Snoogalomania: Snoogans' blatant self promotion and talking about himself in third person. Quote Link to comment
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