Being Contacted By Cachers I Don't Know

[+normasgirl]

About once every three or four months, I'll receive an email from a cacher that I don't know asking for help that requires meeting or suggesting that we meet to cache together. This makes me really uncomfortable but I don't want to discourage any new cachers (but I also don't want to star on the 5:00 news..), so I usually suggest that we meet at an event. I also go on geocaching.com and check out their profile but that information is extremely limited and who knows if the individual is telling the truth or not? So far, no one has ever shown up at an event, so it makes me feel less guilty about feeling so suspicious.

 

My question is, do you guys get contacted like this, too and how do you handle it?

[+Criminal]

About once every three or four months, I'll receive an email from a cacher that I don't know asking for help that requires meeting or suggesting that we meet to cache together. This makes me really uncomfortable but I don't want to discourage any new cachers (but I also don't want to star on the 5:00 news..), so I usually suggest that we meet at an event. I also go on geocaching.com and check out their profile but that information is extremely limited and who knows if the individual is telling the truth or not? So far, no one has ever shown up at an event, so it makes me feel less guilty about feeling so suspicious.

 

My question is, do you guys get contacted like this, too and how do you handle it?

If you're not comfortable, go with your gut. Invite them to the next event or meeting where you can meet them in a public environment.

[+ranger-rob]

If you're not comfortable, go with your gut. Invite them to the next event or meeting where you can meet them in a public environment.

 

I have to ditto that. If an event isn't practical, a mall or other high traffic public place would probably be ok, provided you don't go alone . Out on the side of the road or in the woods though, no way.

[bogleman]

Have the emails been sent through geocaching? It would raise an eyebrow if I was contacted out of the blue by someone I do not know. I would save all future emails and ignore all future contacts if you don't want to meet this person.

Push come to shove report the emails if they get out of hand.

[+Totem Clan]

If you're not comfortable, go with your gut. Invite them to the next event or meeting where you can meet them in a public environment.

 

I have to ditto that. If an event isn't practical, a mall or other high traffic public place would probably be ok, provided you don't go alone . Out on the side of the road or in the woods though, no way.

 

Double Ditto. It's one thing for someone to contact you about one of your caches or maybe an event, but it sounds like this is just a bit hinky. Caution is the keyword here.

[+BiT]

I would remove all pics of yourself in your galley and on your profile page. You may also consider removing the "girl" on your name. I would also report the emails to Groundspeak. There are some sick people out there.

[+Stunod]

While I agree you need to be carefull, unless the emails are threatening I wouldn't report them.

The suggestions to meet at an event are great.

[+HoundGrrls]

Hi NG-

 

You, and others, might want to read The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. It is at any decent sized library and your library may even have it in audio form.

 

Stay safe.

[+TotemLake]

Have the emails been sent through geocaching? It would raise an eyebrow if I was contacted out of the blue by someone I do not know. I would save all future emails and ignore all future contacts if you don't want to meet this person.

Push come to shove report the emails if they get out of hand.

I agree with the consensus to remain cautious; if you're unsure about meeting alone, meeting at an event is a great suggestion.

 

Fwiw, Folks will send e-mail (out of the blue) through geocaching.com to other finders of a cache if the owner didn't or won't respond to an inquiry. It happens all the time. A quick e-mail exchange is usually all that occurs. As long as it isn't threatening or harrassing, it probably is just an innocent inquiry and doesn't by itself violate the TOS.

[+Velvet]

Definitely keep suggesting those events, and save the emails. If nothing else, I would be concerned about the repetion of patterns. If all emails are from free services with impersonal names like "cacherX@hotmail", etc and kind of have the same feel to them (which it sounds like from your OP that they do), it may be worth your time to have the IP addresses traced to see if they are coming from the same source. If they look more like work or some other type of official email "first.lastname@companyX.com", but feel 'off' to you, check out Company X's website.

 

I used to moderate a board on another site where a member had a serious cyber-stalking issue happen, it is NOT something to take lightly if you start to get the feeling that these emails are coming from the same source. You've said you've invited people to events and they haven't shown....if that's a plural statement, I would be a bit concerned if I were you.

 

Start keeping track of all these contacts!

[+carleenp]

I have had strangers ask me for hints on local caches before. That can be fairly normal. I also have had people I know through the forums or chat contact me because they will be in town. There, I am familiar with the person, and have met some fun people in person that way.

 

But I have never had a stranger ask to meet me in person for help with a cache or such. If I didn't know of the person from local groups or the forums etc, I would not meet with them and would suggest events just as you did. There aren't really any caches out there that require in person help from strangers. So multiple such requests seem fishy to me.

Edited June 1, 2006 by carleenp

[+geos of the jungle]

About once every three or four months, I'll receive an email from a cacher that I don't know asking for help that requires meeting or suggesting that we meet to cache together. This makes me really uncomfortable but I don't want to discourage any new cachers (but I also don't want to star on the 5:00 news..), so I usually suggest that we meet at an event. I also go on geocaching.com and check out their profile but that information is extremely limited and who knows if the individual is telling the truth or not? So far, no one has ever shown up at an event, so it makes me feel less guilty about feeling so suspicious.

 

My question is, do you guys get contacted like this, too and how do you handle it?

 

You've been a member for just over a year and you've found 500 caches, about 20% of those are either FTF or STF. Maybe they just want some pointers?

 

I must echo some of the other replies. If you do arrange a meeting make sure it's in a high traffic area and it wouldn't hurt to have a friend or two present either.

[vagabond]

Yep what Carleen said,play it safe

[+Jennifer&Dean]

As one of those folks who randomly contacts people in other cities to see if they would be interested in meeting, I have to say for safetys sake RESEARCH and QUESTION. Look at their finds. Look at who they go caching with. Read their logs and check out their gallery. Look for Forum posts by them.

Then propose meeting at the next event, or in a public place with lots of people. Even better, if you cache with other folks, make it a group meet-up and have everyone get together.

Post to any local groups's forums that there is a meet-up being planned for X area and people are needed.

 

I have met some VERY nice people this way:

Stunod, Special Ed, Fallen Faery, Corps of Discovery, Gargoyle, CarleenP, LaLady, CaRvrCpl, and the nuttier of the Cashe-u-nuts in PA among the many new people I've met through caching.

 

How to pick someone to meet-up with-

Read logs for the area you are going to. Look for interesting logs from interesting sounding people. Pick one who seems fairly active and doesn't pick fights in logs or only sign TFTC. Then e-mail them too see if they are interested or can recommend another local that may be interested. I met LaLady through Henki who was interested in getting together but whose schedule didn't jive with mine.

 

Don't be too suprised , it happens to be a fun way to meet new folks. BUT BE WARY. If it sounds weird, it may well be.

-J

Edited June 1, 2006 by Jennifer&Dean

[+Mudfrog]

I was just getting to email you NG and see if you wanted to meet tomorrow and give me some caching pointers,,,hehe! Actually, i heard that you were gonna be down in our neighborhood so i just wanted to wish you and Bizzyb a good caching trip and tell ya to be careful on the roads.

 

On topic,, sounds like you got it covered by by doing what you are doing. If you want to try and help somone through an email (go through GC.com so as not to give them your email address) then you might try that. I would say that the meeting part (when they suggest it) is a no no for just about every cacher, male or female, at least until you know a little something about them.

[+briansnat]

Hey, if you didn't want to go caching with me, just say so!

[+VegasCacheHounds]

I have had strangers ask me for hints on local caches before. That can be fairly normal. I also have had people I know through the forums or chat contact me because they will be in town. There, I am familiar with the person, and have met some fun people in person that way.

 

But I have never had a stranger ask to meet me in person for help with a cache or such. If I didn't know of the person from local groups or the forums etc, I would not meet with them and would suggest events just as you did. There aren't really any caches out there that require in person help from strangers. So multiple such requests seem fishy to me.

 

Hey, wait, is that why you stood me up?

 

[+Harry Dolphin]

Being male, the situation is different. I got an e-mail from someone who said "I'm new to geocaching, and your caches are the nearest to my house. Want to go geocaching together?" My caching partner and I met up with the new cacher, and we've gone on a number of runs together. I can think of a number of cachers that I've had discussions with via e-mail or in the fora with whom I'd be delighted to go cacing with, if we're ever in each other's neighborhoods. I've met fifteen or twenty other cachers while searching for caches. They've all been very nice people.

On the other hand, my sister seldom even goes caching by herself. She just doesn't feel safe wandering about some of the places where caches are hidden.

Far better to err on the side of safety!

[+JohnnyVegas]

I would remove all pics of yourself in your galley and on your profile page. You may also consider removing the "girl" on your name. I would also report the emails to Groundspeak. There are some sick people out there.

AS I understand it, caching names can not longer be changed.

As others have said, be very cautious. My self I would advise against meeting them

[+Deliveryguy428]

Offer to bring Nudecacher along and still see if they return your e-mails

[+Renegade Knight]

Meeting strangers is how we got to know everone we know. It's not the stranger it's the circumstance.

 

I'd tell them thanks but you just don't have the time to spend outside your own friends and family, and that you look forward to meeting them at an event.

 

That's how to say no without saying no.

[+nekom]

An e-mail out of the blue from anywhere can arouse suspicion. I've gotten e-mails from local cachers out of the blue, but usually they're cache owners just saying "Hey there, glad you found and enjoyed my cache.

 

Nothing wrong with being careful. If you're not careful, well then I'm the lawyer for Prince Nambulu Albaumbu Schmaboobo of Nigeria, and we need to move $49,300,600 USD!!!!!!1 from Lagos and I need somebody to take 60% of it for themselves. Can you help??

 

Anyway I guess my point is that you just can't be too careful in today's world.

[+Googling Hrpty Hrrs]

You may also consider removing the "girl" on your name.

 

Good advice. Just trim it down to Norm. I think you'll be left alone then.

 

[+Yamahammer]

NG to Norm? I like it!!!

[JohnX]

I have found that geocachers, generally speaking, are mostly harmless.

Edited June 2, 2006 by JohnX

[Nudecacher]

<snip>

My question is, do you guys get contacted like this, too and how do you handle it?

 

I receive a lot of contacts through geocaching.com, but none suggesting that I meet them.

 

Most are supportive and cheer me on. I meet a lot of people at geocaching events.

 

Nudecacher

[+BadAndy]

 

My question is, do you guys get contacted like this, too and how do you handle it?

 

I get offers to go caching with strange people frequently. The more I go caching with them, the stranger they become.

 

I think it's the spuds.

 

Seriously though, be cautious but don't be paranoid. I've met a few flakes, but most cachers I've met are among the finest people you'd care to meet.

[+DcCow]

About once every three or four months, I'll receive an email from a cacher that I don't know asking for help that requires meeting or suggesting that we meet to cache together. This makes me really uncomfortable but I don't want to discourage any new cachers (but I also don't want to star on the 5:00 news..), so I usually suggest that we meet at an event. I also go on geocaching.com and check out their profile but that information is extremely limited and who knows if the individual is telling the truth or not? So far, no one has ever shown up at an event, so it makes me feel less guilty about feeling so suspicious.

 

My question is, do you guys get contacted like this, too and how do you handle it?

 

I get emails from new cachers in the area quite often, but of course most of them are military and just moved here. We do enjoy meeting new people especially on the caching trail and have met people to show them the caching area. Meeting them at an event or with a group of local cachers is probably the best idea.

 

BTW, I see from your profile you live in Marshall - use to live there myself about 20 years ago. Will have to return one day to cache!

[+carleenp]

I have had strangers ask me for hints on local caches before. That can be fairly normal. I also have had people I know through the forums or chat contact me because they will be in town. There, I am familiar with the person, and have met some fun people in person that way.

 

But I have never had a stranger ask to meet me in person for help with a cache or such. If I didn't know of the person from local groups or the forums etc, I would not meet with them and would suggest events just as you did. There aren't really any caches out there that require in person help from strangers. So multiple such requests seem fishy to me.

 

Hey, wait, is that why you stood me up?

 

 

Nope. I knew you from the forums and think I offered to meet up first. That terrible headache after flying back into town was actually real!!!!

[+Spot check]

don't be afraid of being seen as rude.

 

theres nothing wrong with coming right out and saying "I don't meet strangers from the internet alone in the woods" and that is more likely to make him drop it.

 

"meet me at an event" let's him think he has his foot in the door. (and he probably was at the event, watching you)

 

It's hard to say if it's stalking behaviour or just interest if you haven't said "leave me alone" yet

 

Criminals advice was great, always go with your gut. if it feels wrong it's probably wrong.

[ParentsofSAM]

I have been contact by quite a few stanger geocachers most from other states. They wanted to know if I ever come to their state and if I wanted to 'get together' with them sometime.

 

At first I answered and said Thanks but no thanks. Then I took all the pics off this site, and just stopped answering the emails. They stopped and now no one wants to meet me.

[+Criminal]

Criminal's advice was great, always go with your gut. if it feels wrong it's probably wrong.

What’s really ironic is that I often contact ‘strangers’ through this site. If a photo in the either the main page banner or the recent logs photo gallery catches my eye, I’ll send a note about it to the cacher. Sometimes I’ll read a funny cache log and check out the person’s profile page and find we have a similar interest, and will drop them a note. Often, I’ll invite them on a hike if they ever come to Washington. I’m safe though, well mostly.

 

[+briansnat]

I've been contacted out of the blue by strangers fairly frequently, both through this site and outside it (my e-mail address is also on my localhikes.com profile). Most of the time it's a high five, or a spanking for something I wrote in the forums, or for advice about geocaching, or places to hike.

 

Sometimes, after some back and forth, the idea of caching together has come up, but it never panned out. I wouldn't rule out meeting a stranger for a cache hunt if the subject eventually came up during our conversation.

In fact I've broached the meeting subject myself. I guess as a male I'm a bit less leery of this kind of stuff.

 

It might be a bit different if I was contacted and right off the bat someone asked to meet me for a hike or cache hunt. That would smell a little fishy to me.

 

Like Criminal, I've also cold contacted strangers through this site. Its often in response to a log, forum post or sometimes something I saw in their profile.

 

I think the OP is right to be wary of these contacts. Who knows - it could be a weirdo like Crminal or me.

[ATMouse]

It's interesting to read the responses generally, with an eye to gender.

 

A story: My 16 yo stepdaughter had a persistant 26 yo man wanting to date her. When she asked why I had an objection to them dating I said:"What would a 26 yo man WANT from a 16 yo girl?"

 

Don't know the particulars of this, but the multiple contacts make bells, alarms and sirens go off in my head. Once to ask and get turned down, okay. Twice to ask and get turned down - there's a message here. Third time - the message "no" was not received. Fourth time - yikes. You need to say "no" clearly at this point, 'cuz this guy is not getting what I would consider normal social cues.

 

Think: over the email he ain't getting it. If you meet, and you want to walk away or say "no" to any other suggestion, why would you think he'd get it then?

 

Yup, listen to your gut. And take your pics off your profile.

 

And ask about changing your name to the TPTB. "Norm"'s kinda cute.

[+kateiam & kids]

I have had 2 requests and they sort of scared me too. I cache with 3 little kids (my husband doesn't cache) and have no desire to meet and cache with a random guy from the internet.

 

I have refered both to a local caching message board where they might find another guy to cache with. They left me alone after that.

[+webscouter.]

Just want to point out that not all guys that contact you are trouble.

 

I will contact cachers in an area that I am visiting to cache with. I will contact them if they meet some criteria.

 

1. They own a cache that I am interested in finding.

2. They have posted interesting logs or comments in the forums.

3. They have taken some nice pictures of caches that I want to find.

4. They have an interesting job or hobby outside of caching.

 

I routinely look at the pictures in the new picture gallery to add caches and therefor owners to my want to find if I am ever in the area. I also keep a list of cachers from the forums I would like to meet.

 

At no time does the fact that they are male or female enter my mind. I have contact several and been able to meet up with a few.

 

Interesting enough I have meet an even balance of each gender through contact from the boards.

 

Habercacher- wanted to meet because he has a really neat signature item.

CarleenP- Wanted to meet because she does Irish step dancing.

SparkyWatts- You'd have to read some of his forum post to understand

Elphaba- An actress on tour with one of my favorite broadway shows.

CCCooperAgency- I invited Lynn to come visit me. Wanted to see how someone could find so many caches.

ClayJar- meet him in the middle of the Kansas Plains, photographer,cook

 

I've meet a few others but not as a result of direct request.

 

Also a couple of you are on my "I'll contact you if I am ever in your area" list. I hope you won't think it strange when I do. Bring some friends if we get together.

[+KandRS]

Strangely enough we just sent a message to Normasgirl. It was actually just to say one of us went to college where she is and to say we are visiting soon and wonder if there are any cool caches we should hit while we are there. Hopefully that isn't regarded as scary. Of course we didn't suggest any secluded meetings either.

[+Yamahammer]

Strangely enough we just sent a message to Normasgirl. It was actually just to say one of us went to college where she is and to say we are visiting soon and wonder if there are any cool caches we should hit while we are there. Hopefully that isn't regarded as scary. Of course we didn't suggest any secluded meetings either.

 

Plenty of caches near and around Marshall. There is S'Port, Longview, Henderson, Kilgore and abouts. Have fun!

[+norsehawk]

Often times in the newbie forums, one of the most common suggestions is that if you are having trouble while starting out, finding an experienced cacher to go out caching with will help you figure out good ways of searching for the caches.

 

While, yes, some people are freaks out there, there are also a lot of good people, what I would suggest, (unless thier mail is just really really freaky) suggest going on a geocaravan if you can get some other local cachers interested in a mini event.

 

When I started out caching, I was doing ok finding some, getting stumped on others, I contacted a local caching team who's name I had seen on many of the caches near my house, as well as many of thier own hides as well. I e-mailed them, got into the little circle, that next weekend we went around the area, found about 20 caches, I learned of several 'evil' hides that they led me to and made me find (nudging me in the right direction when needed) And I even helped with an integral part of a FTF that had been stumping some of the experienced cachers before us.

 

All in all, I made some great friends to cache with occassionally, as well as learned some very interesting hiding techniques.

 

Definately tho. meet up somewhere public just in case they are whackjobs, an easy way is having them meet your little group at a local rest. for breakfast.

[+onesearching2find]

Shortly after I started geocaching I knew I was going to be going to southern CA for a workshop. Of course I had to go geocaching when I was there! I knew that even if I rented a car finding my way around the city would be difficult since I am a country girl from WI. I looked at the logs from the geocaches in the area I was going to be in and choosing 4 guys and 4 gals (I thought anyway, sometimes it's hard to tell by what you can find out on geocaching.com) I contacted them explaining that I was going to be in the area and was wondering if they would be interested in going geocaching with me. Out of the 8 contacts 4 people got back to me, 3 said "Yes, gladly" and one had moved out of the area but said to contact him if I was in his neck of the woods. Probably a pretty stupid thing to do, but I had a great time and met some truely wonderful people. For the most part we met as a group of geocachers, or several different groups as the people I initially contacted brought their geocaching friends or partners with them. I still keep in contact and can't wait to go back! I figure it couldn't be any worse than finding a date on-line, except the expectations would be much different! Thanks to these new found friends I got to do lots of geocaching and see and experience things that I know I wouldn't have if I where on my own!