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Rudeness In Forum Responses


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Internet rage is just like road rage. You never really see anyone up close and personal and there is the nice little computer screen or window protecting you from the evil.

 

It is way too easy for someone to get carried away on the internet just like road rage. Think how upset you have been when someone cut you off or drove too slow. The same rules and actions apply to the net.

 

I don't think many of the posts are rude, some are stupid. I spend a good bit of time nosing around here but I have yet to get into a serious discussion over anything.

 

The only thing wish that the site would provide is a slap button. I just press the slap button when I am miffed at someone, the lid on their laptop slams on their fingers.

 

Everytime I get upset I just look down and read my tag lines. I deal with the general public every day and they can be very challenging to deal with.

 

Just remember a question asked is important to the person who asked the question. If I can provide input I will otherwise I will not take the effort to type everything out.

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While involving myself in quite a few of the "hot topic" debates I have attempted to keep my posts civil and sticking to the issue at hand only without engaging in personal attacks. While I disagree with many of the concepts put forth in this forum I do have a great deal of respect for all involved; moderators, reviewers and my caching peers.

 

However, having said that I have begun to notice a tendency among some moderators of late to in a sense act in what I feel is "unbecoming" of their positions by allowing themselves to be drawn into making snarky remarks and degrading replies to ideas put forth. And sometimes I feel that they are at times nearing the line of becoming personal attacks.

 

I think it is important to also remember that we premium members are paying consumers and desire to be treated like appreciated customers. If we are not shown this consideration we would be more than happy to take our business "elsewhere".

 

Let's just try to get along people.

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While involving myself in quite a few of the "hot topic" debates I have attempted to keep my posts civil and sticking to the issue at hand only without engaging in personal attacks. While I disagree with many of the concepts put forth in this forum I do have a great deal of respect for all involved; moderators, reviewers and my caching peers.

 

However, having said that I have begun to notice a tendency among some moderators of late to in a sense act in what I feel is "unbecoming" of their positions by allowing themselves to be drawn into making snarky remarks and degrading replies to ideas put forth. And sometimes I feel that they are at times nearing the line of becoming personal attacks.

 

I think it is important to also remember that we premium members are paying consumers and desire to be treated like appreciated customers. If we are not shown this consideration we would be more than happy to take our business "elsewhere".

 

Let's just try to get along people.

The flip (and not to mean flippant <_< ) side is that most of teh moderators, and to my knowledge all of teh reviewers are volunteers. They do a lot of work for basically nothing, and frequently they get snarky responses all the time, often via PM or email that isn't seen in the forums much. That they get a bit defensive isn't unexpected. While it may not be the best route, they are humans just like teh rest of us, and they do a lot more than just caching/hiding like the rest of us. I am willing to cut the guys and gals who work (and it is work) for free some slack compared to average users, premium or not.

 

<---average user

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This site is tame compared to some others I've frequented in the past. If you want to see rude people go to a political site or a site dedicated to a minority race. People can be harsh. Like has been said, it's the nature of the internet. It's easy to hop on a forum and spill your guts when there are no repercussions. It's the beauty of the internet. People can say how they feel and get things off their chest. You have to come to a forum with armor on (or a grain of salt attitude) or you will get your feelings hurt. I've been chatting since the inception of the net and on forums on BBS's before there was an internet. It's always been the same.

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I've been a member of numerous Internet forums over the years (going back to Usenet) and I can't think of any forms that (overall) were more pleasant and helpful than these. It is all a matter of perspective and experience.

I second this. I've seen amazingly rude behavior in the most seemingly innocuous forums, and this place is way, way down at the low end of it. In fact, I'd put it toward the opposite and "overmoderated" side of the spectrum sometimes.

 

I also want to kick at the meme that we behave like this online because we can't see each other. I am precisely this rude in person. Ruder, if you give me a beer and poke me with a stick.

 

Mostly, though, I want to point out that I've seen dozens of these "you people are rude" messages in my more-than-two-decades online, and I'm always struck by how, welll...rude they are.

 

And I'll add to this... I have been on one forum where the first rule is:

 

If you can't stand the heat, get the f*** out.

 

That was a coporate forum and I have never been singed so badly in my life on any forum as that one. This is nothing by comparison.

 

Briansnat summed it up best in his first post above.

 

To the OP, even a family has its moments of fights and nastiness. You learn to accept it and move on. Sometimes folks leave in a huff, but eventually everybody makes up. And then you have that occasional jerk that can't seem to get it no matter what you do or say and eventually they too go away. In all cases though, when you've been around long enough, friendships develop and a better understanding of the different interactions between all the personalities come to light.

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You need to approach all on-line discussions like eating fish: Eat the meat and spit out the bones!

 

Although at times I would like the same function here that I have on my email: totally ignore posts from certain users. :-)

Up at the top of the forum there is a link that says "my controls", click that. Then when that page loads, on the left side there is a list, toward the bottom ones say "Manage Ignored Users". There you can add/remove people you don't want to view their posts.

 

Grreeeaaattt! Thanks a lot! <_<;)

 

You have now given these poor helpless forum readers the one tool they really wanted to be able to ignore all of my posts! Sigh! No one will ever read any of my posts again from this moment forward, thanks to your troublesome meddling! :):)

 

 

 

:(

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Grreeeaaattt! Thanks a lot! <_<:)

 

You have now given these poor helpless forum readers the one tool they really wanted to be able to ignore all of my posts! Sigh! No one will ever read any of my posts again from this moment forward, thanks to your troublesome meddling! :):(

 

 

 

;)

 

Actually, due to the ampersand in your screen name you can't be put on an ignore list... ;)

(and for the same reason you can't get PM's)

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Grreeeaaattt! Thanks a lot! ;):P

 

You have now given these poor helpless forum readers the one tool they really wanted to be able to ignore all of my posts! Sigh! No one will ever read any of my posts again from this moment forward, thanks to your troublesome meddling! :):)

 

 

 

:)

 

Actually, due to the ampersand in your screen name you can't be put on an ignore list... <_<

(and for the same reason you can't get PM's)

Hey! If you quote them how can I ignore whatever they said? :(;)

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Here's a related point: Will someone please give me a link to the rule that says a new geocacher isn't allowed to have an opinion? I've read it about 3 times today, something along the lines of, "Strong words from someone with only 10 finds," or "What do you know about it, you just registered yesterday?"

 

Nobody says newbies can't have an opinion, but as I mentioned earlier, you don't move into a new neighborhood and start telling the neighbors what color to paint their houses.

 

When a newcomer comes here and starts making authorative statements despite apparent inexperience, its only natural for the regulars to react negatively. They figure that either the person is a sock, or has some pre concieved notions, or is sporting an agenda. That doesn't sit well with most people.

 

Newcomers who appear to be earnest rarely get rude treatment.

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Grreeeaaattt! Thanks a lot! <_<:)

 

You have now given these poor helpless forum readers the one tool they really wanted to be able to ignore all of my posts! Sigh! No one will ever read any of my posts again from this moment forward, thanks to your troublesome meddling! :(;)

 

 

 

:P

 

Actually, due to the ampersand in your screen name you can't be put on an ignore list... ;)

(and for the same reason you can't get PM's)

You just gave me an idea that Lep is going to hate. :)

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Here's a related point: Will someone please give me a link to the rule that says a new geocacher isn't allowed to have an opinion? I've read it about 3 times today, something along the lines of, "Strong words from someone with only 10 finds," or "What do you know about it, you just registered yesterday?"

 

Nobody says newbies can't have an opinion, but as I mentioned earlier, you don't move into a new neighborhood and start telling the neighbors what color to paint their houses.

 

When a newcomer comes here and starts making authorative statements despite apparent inexperience, its only natural for the regulars to react negatively. They figure that either the person is a sock, or has some pre concieved notions, or is sporting an agenda. That doesn't sit well with most people.

 

Newcomers who appear to be earnest rarely get rude treatment.

 

Brian, very well put! Thanks!

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Grreeeaaattt! Thanks a lot! <_<;)

 

You have now given these poor helpless forum readers the one tool they really wanted to be able to ignore all of my posts! Sigh! No one will ever read any of my posts again from this moment forward, thanks to your troublesome meddling! :):)

 

 

 

:(

 

Actually, due to the ampersand in your screen name you can't be put on an ignore list... :P

(and for the same reason you can't get PM's)

You just gave me an idea that Lep is going to hate. :)

 

Speaking of that, how does one change their forum name? Well, not change, just add a character ;)

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I go to a lot of forums, the rudeness on this forum ranks it around the 6th or 7th rudest forum I've ever been to.

 

The thing that best describes what the internet is really like was the Internet Red vs. Blue PSA it went something like this:

 

Real life: "While I don't agree with your opinion I respect it"

"Thank you for a meaningful and intelligent conversation"

 

Internet: "Your opinions suck and you deserve to die!"

"Oh yeah, well I hope you get raped, TWICE!"

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Grreeeaaattt! Thanks a lot! ;):P

You have now given these poor helpless forum readers the one tool they really wanted to be able to ignore all of my posts! Sigh! No one will ever read any of my posts again from this moment forward, thanks to your troublesome meddling! :);)

:)

Actually, due to the ampersand in your screen name you can't be put on an ignore list... :)

(and for the same reason you can't get PM's)

 

Ohhh... that explains why we have never received PMs via the Groundspeak forum. Several times, folks have insisted that they sent me (or us) PMs via the forum, but I have never found any... Of course, PMs sent to us through the geocaching.com site work fine... we get lots of them. . .

 

I will seriously consider removing the ampersand in our team name so that folks can put my evil posts on their Ignore lists. :):(:)<_<:):D

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I certainly hope it isn't rude to quote oneself, but SWR helps prove this point by linking to that thread.

I tend to think of geocaching as the general community, and the various forums like the neighborhood bars and clubs. Each forum has its regulars and the tone is slightly different. When you enter one of those, it's usually a good idea to look around and get a sense of the normal behavior before spouting off. Otherwise it can get a bit rough. Kinda like ordering something pink and fizzy when everyone else is drinking beer out of longneck bottles.

 

The question was asked in the Getting Started forum, and had received very polite, civil and helpful replies. That's the way the GS forum should and usually does work. It's in a more gentile part of the neighborhood. This forum is in a more mixed (up?) neighborhood, and therefore can be a bit rougher at times, but not always.

 

I'm sure someone will be offended at my reference to mixed neighborhoods, so I will apologize in advance. <_<

Edited by wimseyguy
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I certainly hope it isn't rude to quote oneself, but SWR helps prove this point by linking to that thread.

I tend to think of geocaching as the general community, and the various forums like the neighborhood bars and clubs. Each forum has its regulars and the tone is slightly different. When you enter one of those, it's usually a good idea to look around and get a sense of the normal behavior before spouting off. Otherwise it can get a bit rough. Kinda like ordering something pink and fizzy when everyone else is drinking beer out of longneck bottles.

 

The question was asked in the Getting Started forum, and had received very polite, civil and helpful replies. That's the way the GS forum should and usually does work. It's in a more gentile part of the neighborhood. This forum is in a more mixed (up?) neighborhood, and therefore can be a bit rougher at times, but not always.

 

I'm sure someone will be offended at my reference to mixed neighborhoods, so I will apologize in advance. <_<

LMAO, knowing a bit about you from meeting you at GW3...

 

You meant 'genteel,' not 'gentile.'

 

I guess us gentiles should hang out in Getting Started, leaving the harsher Geocaching Topics territory for the mensch.

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Everytime I get upset I just look down and read my tag lines.

 

Really? And you still haven't spotted the typo? Impressive!

 

lol glad you pointed it out.....

 

bawahahahahah...

 

Don't worry about bitting off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably a whole lot bigget than you think.

 

well, there were at least two. I hope it wasn't rude of me to look for them....

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Everytime I get upset I just look down and read my tag lines.

 

Really? And you still haven't spotted the typo? Impressive!

 

"the typo" makes it sound like there is only one...

 

edit : 4LC was quicker...

Edited by Stunod
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..."and though you will never be mine

I will live to know that you have touched me

once upon a time"...

 

Ok so I'm trying to stay out of this thread and thanks to the weasel I'm reading tag lines and see this. That's sad.

 

It's like a theme for one of those movies your wife makes you watch. I still give my wife a hard time for making me watch the notebook. That quote is about like that movie towards the end.

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I certainly hope it isn't rude to quote oneself, but SWR helps prove this point by linking to that thread.

I tend to think of geocaching as the general community, and the various forums like the neighborhood bars and clubs. Each forum has its regulars and the tone is slightly different. When you enter one of those, it's usually a good idea to look around and get a sense of the normal behavior before spouting off. Otherwise it can get a bit rough. Kinda like ordering something pink and fizzy when everyone else is drinking beer out of longneck bottles.

 

The question was asked in the Getting Started forum, and had received very polite, civil and helpful replies. That's the way the GS forum should and usually does work. It's in a more gentile part of the neighborhood. This forum is in a more mixed (up?) neighborhood, and therefore can be a bit rougher at times, but not always.

 

I'm sure someone will be offended at my reference to mixed neighborhoods, so I will apologize in advance. ;)

LMAO, knowing a bit about you from meeting you at GW3...

 

You meant 'genteel,' not 'gentile.'

 

I guess us gentiles should hang out in Getting Started, leaving the harsher Geocaching Topics territory for the mensch.

 

Nope it's the mixed breed sorts who belong in this forum. Getting Started is where you will find the mensches gentile or genteel. <_<

To make it even more confusing there is aneighborhood on New Orleans called Gentilly; I'm not sure who lives there anymore.

Edited by wimseyguy
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I've been a member of numerous Internet forums over the years (going back to Usenet) and I can't think of any forms that (overall) were more pleasant and helpful than these. It is all a matter of perspective and experience.

I second this. I've seen amazingly rude behavior in the most seemingly innocuous forums, and this place is way, way down at the low end of it. In fact, I'd put it toward the opposite and "overmoderated" side of the spectrum sometimes.

 

I also want to kick at the meme that we behave like this online because we can't see each other. I am precisely this rude in person. Ruder, if you give me a beer and poke me with a stick.

 

Mostly, though, I want to point out that I've seen dozens of these "you people are rude" messages in my more-than-two-decades online, and I'm always struck by how, welll...rude they are.

 

Auntie! <_<:) It is SOOO good to see a post from you again! :) I had been slipping into Auntie Weasel withdrawal, due to your relative absence recently form the forums (I know, I could read more of your works if I were wiling to go slumming in the OT section of the forums...), and this post from you is a godsend! I love hearing your acerbic (or is it astringent?) and wise voice! I wuv you! :(;)

 

And, I must agree 100% with what you wrote in your first paragraph and final paragraph. This is a very tame forum compared to some that I have been on. And, I am almost always struck by the amazingly hostile passive-aggressive "I am a victim" stance of most folks who need to tell us how rude this forum is. As for kicking at memes: I am a convicted serial meme abuser, and thus I will staunchly keep my mouth shut on this topic.

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I love hearing your acerbic (or is it astringent?) and wise voice!

I think the phrase you're searching for is "petty and spiteful." Eh. I've had life stuff. Whoever said "get a life" didn't know what the heck he was talking about.

 

Back on topic. Well, kind of. I once read the cruelest, snottiest, most excessively mean-spirited and uncalled for flame in a Usenet group. It was a masterpiece of meanness. So, naturally, I wrote the author a fan letter. And we're still together over a decade later.

 

So, you know, internet cruelty can sometimes lead to troo luv. Or getting stuck with a weasel for the rest of your life, depending on your perspective.

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I try hard to be nice and helpful, but I have a wickedly sarcastic sense of humor. Some of the responses I read in here stir up the most cruel and vindictive depths of my insensitive side. Think of “Auntie Weasel on steroids” for a hint of how twisted that might be!

 

When I get riled up over some topic, I spend a half an hour typing out a scathing retort, rearranging it to be even more vicious, adding venomous jabs and cold stabs, and editing out anything that hints remotely of empathy toward the subject of my wrath.

 

And then I delete it before I send it. You would not believe some of the vile and pernicious things I have NOT said in the forums!

 

Seriously, one of the most ironic things about the most argumentative posts that appear in the forums is that the worse the zinging gets, the more ridiculous the posters sound to others. Routinely rude and argumentative people are routinely ignored. There are several regular posters in the forums that may think they are swaying others with their vehemous rants, when in reality, most people are likely thinking "Oh, what silly thing is X saying now?" and either ignoring them, or reading just to see who will stomp out that little flame.

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I love hearing your acerbic (or is it astringent?) and wise voice!

I think the phrase you're searching for is "petty and spiteful." Eh. I've had life stuff. Whoever said "get a life" didn't know what the heck he was talking about.

 

Back on topic. Well, kind of. I once read the cruelest, snottiest, most excessively mean-spirited and uncalled for flame in a Usenet group. It was a masterpiece of meanness. So, naturally, I wrote the author a fan letter. And we're still together over a decade later.

 

So, you know, internet cruelty can sometimes lead to troo luv. Or getting stuck with a weasel for the rest of your life, depending on your perspective.

 

:):):(;);):P:):):)<_< I soooo wuv you!

Edited by Vinny & Sue Team
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I wonder if all that needs to be said hasn't been said already. If no one has any objections I'll close the thread. if y'all want to still talk about it just say so and I'll leave it open

 

thank you all for humoring me with your witty and timely responses.

 

erikwillke

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I do not know what all the fuss is about ... I have never seen anything even remotely rude in these forums. Unless of course you count the time when briansnat posted a picture of himself with a mouth full of squid ... other than that, I've seen nothing rude. Even CoyoteRed and Mopar have always been perfect gentlemen.

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I'd say this is a community like any other. The same hot-buttons that stir things up at the office do the same here (politics, religion etc). Geocachers have a few extra hot-buttons though, like micros, leave no trace and cache bandits. Generally, if you stick to strictly Geocaching topics you're OK. Thats no fun, though.

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I wonder if all that needs to be said hasn't been said already. If no one has any objections I'll close the thread. if y'all want to still talk about it just say so and I'll leave it open

 

thank you all for humoring me with your witty and timely responses.

 

erikwillke

 

Awww, leave it open. Its an important discussion. I know when I first entered these forums I was one of those people who wanted to tell my new neighbors how to arrange their lawn furniture. Because of that my first year or so here was pretty rocky. I made a number of enemies and I'm still trying to patch fences with some years later.

 

I'm a person who can't resist a debate if I have an opinion on a subject. Put me in a pub, give me a beer or two and someone with a different opinion and I can spend hours discussing sports, movies, politics, wines, music, history, you name it.

 

I'm the same way here and I'm not alone. There are however people who see debate as conflict and a negative. To them it's a major turn off, but they don't realize that its a major reason that forums like these exist. Heck, if we all agreed on everything and were all nicey, nicey all the time this would be a pretty flippin' boring place.

 

For every PM or e-mail I receive saying "Way to go Brian", I get one from someone who thinks I'm the biggest arse on the planet. When you enter an Internet forum you have to expect differing opinions and some people may not state their case tactfully. You need thick skin. Hey, if you can't stand the heat get your head out of the oven.

Edited by briansnat
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Don't worry about bitting off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably a whole lot bigget than you think.

 

well, there were at least two. I hope it wasn't rude of me to look for them....

 

heheheheh naw not at all rude... heck I didn't even notice the "bitting" being spelled wrong......

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Sometimes folks find rudeness where none is intended:

short thread

. . .

 

Wow! What you cited is a perfect example of a newbie (very possibly a sock puppet for a troll) looking for a fight! I run many email list groups and forums -- many on rather controversial topics which tend to attract lots of fanatics, True Believers (sigh!), wannabes and trolls -- and it fascinates me how some newbies (who are actually trolls) come in swinging with both fists. They are usually banned at the moment their first post gets rejected by the moderators.

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I am new to GeoCaching, only 2 finds. I've been lurking a bit and have noticed that there can be a "tone" at times and lots of mistaken remarks. When this thread first started I saw some of that too. I am thrilled to see the way it has worked out to this point! It confirms my thoughts that GeoCachers are generally great people! I am really looking forward to getting to know many of you much better through your posts. :)

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Sometimes folks find rudeness where none is intended:

short thread

That's a pretty good example. I've seen other seemingly innocuous posts met with indignation. There are various reasons, but I think the major one is that people can't sense tone in forums like these.

Really, and truly, my ONLY problems to date with rudeness on this site have all been due to that weird guy Briansnot in New Jersey, who constantly harasses me and our chickens, Bantmas, guinea fowl, turkeys, ducks and geese. He even leaves tiny little evil demons in caches which he knows we are gonna find, so that we will be infested by these things. . . Sigh! B):DB)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:):)

 

 

 

:DB):D:D:D:D

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*Is wondering if anyone is ready to argue yet...* I've decided to ask for permission before I start anything any more. Anyone up to it??

LOL just kidding sorry.... I can't stay silent forever on one of my "favorite" threads.....

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