I have an idea, but it's only a theory. I'll leave it up to people much smarter than me to figure out if it could work:
If the problem is that you are getting spikes over the weekend, and that if you were to average out the work, you would be balanced, how bout a tool that could be made available to log finds off-line.
It could be made available to premium members, and work somewhat like the GSAK program. You could log your finds, move your travelbugs, and write your notes. It could be "fed" by the Premium members pocket query results, once again just like GSAK.
Then, when your day's caching is complete, you "submit" the file to GC. There, it's stored, and processed as cycles free up.
Personally, I would use something like this, as long as it has been shown to be reliable. I logged 15 finds yesterday and took far far too long. I would gladly list them all into an "extract file" and submit. My time to log would be reduce at least by half, and Jeremy et all could regulate the flow of transactions into the server.
That would free up cycles for everyone who does not use the tool, including non-premium members.
Just a thought.