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Team CeDo

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  1. You know ye are a pirate when...


    ...you prefer cheap rum instead of expensive wine.


    ...you think that the proper way to greet kings at events is: Arrh, ye peacock, give me yer money or I´ll burn yer tent!



    ...you're planning to purchase a large cannon with the explanation: "who knows, maybe some day we go to Pennsic".


    ...you are not very interested in SCA rapier fencing cause "they've banned fleche and suicidefencing" and you dont really understand that crap bout "chivalry" either.


    ...you get thrown out of meetings cause you know too much about "slithering throats, ARRH!".



    ...the people at work starts to talk about you as the guy who puts jolly rogers on everything.


    ...people stand WAAY back when your household starts to pull out rapiers, sabres, cutlasses and daggers.


    ...you get really angry when the person next to you at the bancuette, who claims to be a pirate, doesnt know anything about "loading guns with rusty nails" and you challenge him to a cutlassduel, he turns up and then runs away cause you brought your real cutlass. ...your topic for the evening is smuggling, and your fellow sca-dians listens politely until you mention "fast motor boats" and starts complaining about how the price on silk has gone down.

  2. A pirate and his parrot, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a valiant battle. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth. This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving any thought to the matter the pirate blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into rum!" The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two considered their circumstances. The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: "Now yee've done it!! Now we're goon to have to pee in the boat."

  3. Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man's man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a lookout spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt."

    The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt and while wearing the bright frock he led his mates into battle and defeated the pirates. Later on, the lookout spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again howled for his red shirt and once again they vanquished the pirates. That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the captain: "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?"

    The captain replied: "If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood, and thus, you men will continue to resist, unafraid." All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a man's manly man.

    As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The rank and file all stared in worshipful silence at the captain and waited for his usual reply. Captain Bravo gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against his mighty sailing ship and, without fear, turned, and calmly shouted: "Get me my brown pants."

  4. A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and takes turns telling their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.



    The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."



    "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."



    "Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.


    "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"







  5. Thanks everyone for the Congrats!! and THANK YOU Opalsns, this was a fun cointest!!! We had a blast reading everyones practical jokes, and now we got some more to play on our unsuspecting friends and family........



    Team CeDo

  6. Oh!!! I like jokes as far they are ok.... ;)


    I have done many so what to choose????


    Some were by a mistake! I was trying to make a joke to someone and I accidently did it to someone else..... or sometimes I did something without wanting it that....


    ...But most of them were done when I was in the army! :D


    Now... what to choose??? What???


    Since it is a random draw, I hope it is ok to post some sort stories in one post of course, just for the fun! :D

    I have many but you will get only some of them!! ;)


    As I said, I like jokes, tricks etc! I was a victim sometimes too! :D


    1) One day, when I was In Leros island, my sister called! I was staying in the house of my godfather (he is my unckle too) and my aunt (unckle's sister) was living in the house above! My sister calledfirst at my aunt and she told her that I was downstrairs!


    My aunt came down to tell me that my sister was going to call me so I desided to make a joke to her!


    The phone started ringing! I was sure that my sister was calling!


    I choosed one of my "sexy" voices, I change it a little so she wouldn't recognize me and I replied like I was working in Vodafon mobile company: The Vodafon number you are calling is probably not available at the moment, please leave a message after the characteristic sign..."


    And I started making a donkeys voice!!!! :D


    Hmm... there was nothing on the other side!!! Silence!!! What happent???


    then I heard a woman's voice but it was not my sister's voice!!!!!! It was the voice of a cousin that had sons in my age!!!!!!!


    "If I get you...... I didn't know where I was calling!!! What a donkey is doing in my phone??? you are making jokes???? "


    Oh, boy!!!! I explained her and said some thousands "I am sorry", but I was feeling....


    I tried to make a joke to my sister, I finaly did it, accidently to my cousin, but... at last I probably did a joke to myself!!!!! :D


    2) when I was in the army I did soem good jokes! some didn't have the result I wanted....


    Most of the times I was not alone!!! :D


    some of the thing I or we did.... I cought a frog that was outside of the toilets and while I was holding him (it was a big one!!!!) I went very close to the face of one of my friends who was sleeping att eh moment! In my plans was to awake my friend and when he was going to open his eyes, the first thing to see was going to be the frog! Well... the frog jumped before all that and landed on my friends face! what a awakening!!! :D


    An other time we put ants in the sleeping bad of an other soldier who was sleeping with his underware! He entered in, he was relaxed and suddently he started screaming "something is moving on my legs"!!!


    once, we were in a guardhouse and a guy there was...not so clean... I hope you understand! you couldn't stay close to him for a long time!


    We desided to make a joke to him! We took some coal we found and while he was sleeping (while he was sleeping, he cound't hear canons firing next to him!), we turned his face black!!! the next motning he was goinf to go out and his father waited him early in the morning! As I said his relationship with water was not very good so he didn't realise that he was black!!! :D Of course his father realised it!!! :D


    At the end I will post something I did one night! :D It was my birthday and I was still in the guardhouse, so I desided to make some jokes! :D

    ok... one was not so good.... :D I was a bad boy!!! :D


    A guy was sleeping and me and some other guys went close to him with 2 glasses! one full of water and the other empty! We started transfering the water from one glass to the other near to his ear! I started saying in deep voice.... "come on... relax, urine so we can go.... come on.."

    After some time.... he relaxed!!! :D Oh boy!!!! I am a bad boy!!!


    Actually I was a bad boy.... I am not doing these things anymore.... hmm... ok, I am not doing a lot of such things anymore! :D


    Of course, I have a rule! If you like making jokes to others, you have to accept other to make a joke to you!!! :D





    TOO FUNNY!!!! ;)

  7. Back when I used to work, I worked for a major car dealership in the parts department. One of my roles was to supply the technicians with the parts they needed for service calls. A fellow co-workers had takne his children to Busch Gardens over the weekend ande bought a TOY rattlesnake. The most realistic looking one I have ever seen. He brought it into work one day, so I decided to play a trick on a mechanic.... ;)



    I took the rubber snake and wrapped it around the drive shaft of the car that he was going to be working on. Once he got the car up on the lift and headed underneath there, he saw the snake, freaked out, hit his head really hard on the underneath of the car and ran screaming out of there as fast as he could. Poor guy was so scared that he refused to go back under the car and someone else went in to retrieve the toy so he could get his work done. Needless to say everyone had a great laugh ;) -except him!! ;)

  8. Thought for the day.


    If you can start the day without caffeine

    If you can get going without pep pills

    If you can always be cheerful ignoring aches and pains

    If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles

    If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it

    If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time

    If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when through no fault of yours something goes wrong

    If you can take criticism and blame without resentment

    If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him

    If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend

    If you can face the world without lies and deceit

    If you can conquer tension without medical help

    If you can relax without liquor

    If you can sleep without the aid of drugs


    .....Then You Are Probably The Family Dog! :o

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