Hysham Pirate

I'm a determined geocacher.

I let my friend hold the GPSr while we looked for a cache. He was wearing shorts and it was starting to snow, so I decided to do the dirty work. About 25 minutes later I again asked him for the description and the clue. He repeated what he had told me before. Me: "So the CO doesn't give any clue." Him: "I don't see anything about a clue." Me: "It's too cold for this, grab onto my ankles and pull me out from under the cattle guard." Yeah don't ask Him: "Oh is this the clue? 'Not near the cattle guard. Look up.'?" Me: "Be right back. I forgot the pen in the car." Him: "What do you need that tire iron for? The cache is over there in the tree!" Me: "Quit running and hold still!!! It's only gonna hurt until you're dead!" Good thing we were right next to a cemetery. It really reduces costs when you can cut out the middlemen.

I like to just go to the coordinates and look around for a little while before reading the description or hint. After about 10 minutes I decided I should read up. A FREAKIN' AMMO CAN?!? No way! I would have noticed something that big oh there it is.

So some guy in Alaska is holding caches for ransom. I emailed him and told him his theft made national news. Please email him and let him know what you think. My link

It's real blood. I suppose you get all of your "real life" knowledge from movies. If I had dumped a 50 gallon drum of red dyed corn syrup over him you'd say it was real.

A friend posted a picture of his bloody arm so I made a Facebook banner for him. I have yet to get hurt while geocaching, unless walking through stinging nettles counts.

I was looking around and right by GZ I see a person wrapped in an old blanket that literally looked like how they put sheets on bodies in the morge.. Oh crud a corpse. I walked over to it and yelled are you OK? a few times. No movement, no breathing. I decide to give a light tap with my shoe. "GAWDDAMMIT!" I decided calling 911 to complain about a cussing corpse would be odd so I signed the log and left.

After a long day of Geocaching I sat down to log my finds. I heard a few muffled sounds, but wasn't sure where they were coming from. I was seriously thinking my house was haunted. I got up from my computer chair and I hear my name, "Steve?" coming from behind me. I looked around and no one was here! I know I locked all my doors! Must have been my imagination. I head down my hallway, and clear as day and right behind me I hear "Hello?" I head in the direction of the voice. "You OK Steve?" WTF! Behind me again! This went on for about 10 minutes until I figured out what was happening. Yeah, I'm never putting my cell phone in my back pocket again. Butt dialing is scary!

I was extremely happy when I got the email that my latest cache was approved. I actually spent a lot of time and effort on this one. I sat back in my computer chair ready to congratulate the FTF. While I was waiting I heard a very loud voice in front of my house coming over a speaker. Darned kids and their radios. I opened my front door to confront the kids playing talk radio at full volume. As soon as I opened the door a strong zappy feeling hit me. When I opened my eyes I was in a small room with a guy sitting in front of me. I had a handcuff on attached to the chair. I looked at him and my first thought was that someone greatly exaggerated the whole St. Peter at the Pearly Gates thing. St. Peter must have a ton of questions to ask me and he's afraid I'll bolt. That was the only reason I could come up with for the handcuffs. It turned out I was alive and lightning didn't hit me. The FBI had a few questions about my new cache! I was stoked! Seriously, I've only placed a few caches and this one was by far the best if the government is asking about it. I described the container. A galvanized steel pipe with one end cap sealed. The other cap I ground down the threads a bit to make it easy to open. I am serious about weather proofing and long lasting containers! He asked about a fuse sticking out of the side. Duh, it's rope so you can grip the metal pipe. They get really slippery in winter. After a few days in a jail cell I finally had a chance to explain to the judge that it was an honest mistake. Just a comedy of errors on my part. I saw bits of metal and confetti sitting on a table along with my good titanium Cross pen. I noticed a bunch of steely marbles with the pile. It was SO weird seeing my signature swag and my pen there. It turns out that I was seeing pieces of my cache. Sending my cache through a wood chipper out of jealousy was a bit uncalled for. The judge asked why I placed my cache where I did. It should have been obvious. If you're gonna place a cache make sure it's in a location worth seeing. What could be more epic than a huge courthouse built in the 1890's? Sheesh judge, lern 2 geocache! The judge was out of control with his jealousy about placing a great cache. He decided to lock me away for quite a long while. SO unprofessional! I actually didn't mind the time I spent behind bars. It really reminded me of Geocaching. I met a lot of new friends. There were bouts of confusion and hopelessness. One thing was way better than just caching though. When you're locked up they stitch you up for free. When I need stitches from finding a cache I have to pay for those. I'm still mad about them wrecking my cache container. It was just too well thought out to let the design slip away into obscurity. I made a new cache like the old one but I learned a valuable lesson. No more courthouses! We do have a new airport that people should see. I'm thinking that's my newest cache location!

I don't know why people are afraid of logging a DNF. It is valuable information that the CO and others need to know.

Some people are in severe denial and call Geocaching a hobby. It serves no purpose to trivialize what it really is. Addiction is an incurable disease but it can be treated. There IS hope! Lord grant me the str...... SOMEONE JUST POSTED A NEW CACHE!!!! If this turns out to be another Second to Find I will shank someone!

A cache I made from a piece of bamboo, a chapstick container and a stick. Singed it a bit on the stove and dabbed some green paint on it.

Not everyone knows the risks involved. Just because you know something does not mean the entire Universe knows it. This was posted on a Getting Started message board. I would assume newer Geocachers might read this and would appreciate the information. I apologize for forcing an agenda! (what does that even mean?!?) lol

. I see caches all the time on or around electrical equipment. They make me extremely nervous. If licking a 9 volt battery is anything like actually being electrocuted, I definitely don’t want to experience it! Safety tip time! All electrical equipment can be dangerous. From those poles at Wal-Mart to the power boxes or towers with caches near or on them. One little wire shorts out and you could 'splode like a skeeter that got too close to the blue light! Stay away from damaged electrical equipment. If you see wires or damaged electrical casings don't touch it. Copper thieves aren't worried about your safety and leave damaged equipment in their wake. Call the power company right away. And tell them to make it snappy because the quicker they fix it, the quicker you can find the cache! I personally would never use a screw driver to look for a cache near electrical equipment, but I have been tempted. I've seen pictures of caches that are literally inside a piece of equipment that should NOT be there. You need permission, right? You ask the power company if you can place a cache inside their equipment they will say no. Unless you bribe them with Macaroons. If I see an obviously unsafe cache on power equipment I will remove it and note it on the website log. You could be saving a life and more importantly you just got a FREE cache container! If you Geocache with children, or your husband, explain the do's and don'ts of caches that may have power running to them. DO NOT go near exposed wires. If you see red, black, white or copper wires I can guarantee it’s not safe. DO NOT look for a cache in a power box until you ensure there is no electricity running to it. I come across caches that are near electrical equipment fairly often. If I've spent way too much time (more than 45 seconds) I do consider looking in the electrical equipment. It might be the cache but it looks so REAL! If it's obviously running into the ground and could be electrified, I ain't gonna risk it. DO be aware of your surroundings. Look for hidden dangers. Downed power lines would seem obvious but people are killed by just going near them. It's easy to be distracted by stupid things that take your eye off the prize and could be dangerous. DO NOT continue walking forward if your bones tingle and your skin catches on fire. That’s a bad thing. I actually had a really cool cache planned. It was going to be a PVC pipe connected to an electrical outlet along a fence. The pipe was going to look like it was chewed through with burned wires inside. I bought a blow torch to make burn marks on the fence. I was working on buying fake grey fur to stick to the wood. The cache was going to be named Squirrel Food. I thought it would be so ridiculous no one could think it was a real electrical box. Then I realized that it would be an extremely bad example. It had everything a actual dangerous cache would have. Exposed wires, burn marks and bits of a hungry squirrel. A child, or husband, could see that cache and think it's OK to go near that type of thing. Remember folks! It's better to be safe than to have an epic geocache! For further reading please see Johnngeo's blog I got some good tips from him. Steven Kerr (Hysham Pirate)

What are they supposed to say? It´s "above" their paygrade... Maybe we should pay another 10,-€ extra so they will get down to us to answer some questions that they do not like... Every country defines "Freedom of Speech" differently. In the US it´s obviously just some words on an old piece of paper thats kept in a museum. Nothing more to it... Freedom of Speech prevents the American government from telling Groundspeak to delete posts on their website. I love people who can only quote two or three words from a document then try to amaze everyone with their intelligence. Aaaaand I just realized I'm completely off topic. Oh noez I'm gonna cry when this post gets deleted.

Good point! Dear Geocaching.com. Please stop issuing premium memberships to people who live in the EU. Do like a lot of American companies and force Europeans to register with an address within the United States. It must be horrible to live in a place where you have to spend pennies more per day than the rest of the world!

Here's a cache I found on a pole.

Here's a cache I found on a pole.

"If you have any problems feel free to give me a call at home" No number or anything. Not even a real name so I could look them up in the phone book.

We found what we thought was a dead person floating in flood waters next to a cache. Of course we had to do the obligatory poking it with a stick to see what it was. It ended up just being a dead pig.